Ever wonder why Frank Sinatra’s song ‘My Way’ remains to be a favorite today especially amongst us Pinoys? Every sing-along joint will have that song as the most requested number; not to add the thousands of magic sing owners who would sing that song over and over again. Furthermore, books and seminars about empowerment are also big favorites and motivational talks/speakers that revolve around self actualization and self reliance is sure to be a hit. Why? Because we just love the idea that we can achieve anything we want if we so chose too.

To a great degree, I agree with that mind set but we also need to understand the limitations that we have. I am all for self-actualization and motivating oneself, but we also need to understand that we need help most of the time. Pride is a good thing but when we become blind to achieving greater heights because of it, pride becomes a liability.

Let’s look at the issue of personal finance. There are many of us who find ourselves in a position of anxiety if not despair. Despite all our effort and intentions, we find our situation stagnant if not deteriorating. Time and time again, we vow that we will try harder to put our financial condition in a better state and in the end, realize that our valiant efforts are put into waste.

Here’s a solution – get help! Often times, our misplaced pride prevents us from the benefit of being helped by others. We are ashamed to seek help because we sometimes don’t want to face the fact that we are in trouble or we may not have the capacity to solve our own problems. We really can’t keep on doing the same things and expect a different result, that’s insane – and yet that is something many of us do, this writer included.

One of the best help we can get is objectivity. In times when we are too close to the fire to see it, the objectivity of someone else can help us see the bigger picture. Financial planners are trained to look at financial situations as a whole, from the big picture approach. Well trained practitioners can help you assess your situation and offer you solutions you normally would not think of, or are too stubborn to admit.

Another big help we can get is intervention. In severe cases, we need to seek help that will result to intervention. Seeking legal help is an obvious situation but it can go beyond lawyers and financial planners. Sometimes, a temporary intervention by a well-meaning individual can do wonders until we learn how to cope up and catch up. Or, we need to be open minded enough to be rebuked by others so we can see the error of our ways.

I am a financial planner and have been a part of the financial services industry for over 2 decades. Yet, I also need help even in financial matters. I can get too absorbed in my situation that I lose perspective. Recently, I was blessed to seek help from a good friend and mentor, Mr. Cito Beltran. My wife and I asked for counsel in many aspects – career, business, family, faith, relationships and yes, even personal finance. The nature of my work (as a consultant and entrepreneur) can result to some cash flow concerns which I can be a bit hard-headed in addressing. I’m the financial planner and I should be the one giving advise right? Wrong. My objectivity with regard to my own affairs can be clouded and I needed to get help from people I know who can offer it. Cito, although not a trained financial planner, can see things from a wider perspective than I can with regard to my own situation. His experience in real life far outweighs whatever training I took through the years. I am currently refocusing and redirecting my activities because someone helped me and I thank the Lord that there are people out there who would be willing to help.

By the way, no one can help you if you don’t ask for it. Try seeking help, it might be the best thing you can do for yourself and that’s what I call wisdom.

He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. – Proverbs 28:26, NIV

** this appears in the Mar-April issue of Moneysense.